


Name-Given

by Yenneffer



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Study, Episode 6.22 The Man Who Knew Too Much, Episode Related, Gen, POV Second Person, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-23
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-15 21:19:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/854173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yenneffer/pseuds/Yenneffer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A pivotal point in Castiel's long existence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Name-Given

**Author's Note:**

> No real plot here, just Castiel's character study.  
> Not really my best work, but it's been sitting on my hard drive for ages and I want it posted so that I may focus on other projects.

Your name used to be Castiel.

Now you call yourself – justly − God. Because there has to be some name. And Castiel doesn’t suit you anymore now that you can hardly remember who that was.

All the insecurities, feelings, doubts, connections − you carry a very dim memory of them, but you cannot feel them any more than a sea can feel its inhabitants swimming in it. It’s unimportant.

Once, you were an angel. As the man standing in front of you, Dean, used to describe angels: dick-hearted creatures with great capacity for not-feeling. And you hadn’t felt much before falling (before becoming imperfect just like the little insects here). But now it is different. You are different; and Castiel is dead, lying somewhere beneath the raging souls that merge with what used to be your Grace.

Grace cannot really be destroyed. You can kill an Angel, you can make him fall. But Grace is the gift from father (where is he, now?) and no one can touch it.

Only you did. You didn’t kill it, you morphed it into a new creation, an act of it overwhelming and blinding.

So now you are God. You understand that you are different from all, and that there is no other way from here but forward.

Or either Castiel is alive, and you are he. Mayhap he is you, now, and he cannot be changed back. There are consequences to everything- the consequence of you accepting the souls as part of you is you taking on a new name.

And the consequence of the latter is final, like a bell ringing through all the heavens.

This Dean tries to appeal to you, talking about family and brothers. You think, absent-mindedly, that this is the highest virtue Dean can think of; being a brother is sacred to him. But now he will have to make place for something before that. You demand allegiance and devotion. Or blood.

It’s all behind the name; your distance and indifference to the ones you have strived to protect before; in the eyes of God, all must be equal; loving all is caring for none. It’s not a philosophy; it’s law. The difference is thus: Castiel obeyed or disobeyed. You have no one to listen to.

You have achieved an uttermost freedom. Everything that was before was an illusion of it – fighting and rebelling, and you were a puppet. But only God can ever be truly free.


End file.
